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第1-7，共7篇日记[首页][上页][下页][末页] |
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今天上載了兩長 未名 與 未衣服 的照片戴者黃金的 "chai" 記號 חַי . 它是 希伯來文字, 意思 包括中文的 "人生", "生命力", 與" 氣息", 在内. 因爲 氣息是人生第一行動．．無氣流就沒命．
猶太人最重視 最珍惜 就是人生（life）． 猶太祈禱主要目標不是向上帝求什麽，而就是感謝它又給我們生命的這個禮物又創造怎麽豐富的世界給我們住
除了猶太六角星(Star of David－以色列的國旗 之星) , 這個 chai 是猶太文化最大的符號， 等於 中國文化 的 "陰陽" 或 "八卦h" 符號. 猶太人傳統 喝 酒前 先 互相 行禮 “l‘haim" ！ (לחיים = “為人生！"）英文翻成“to life”。
父親送我這個項鏈，母親送了 "chai" 記號，我把它們聯在一起， 永遠不會脫了, 隨時 使我想起父母和上帝的愛,所有人類生氣的力量與我們在地球上短暫的一生.一定要好好兒得珍惜這些.
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營養,健康 nutrition and health
投資, 股票市場, 經濟, 財務 investing, stock market, economics and finance
裝修 我的房子 designing and fixing my house
養寵物和小動物 raising pets and baby animals
猶太主義， 猶太 幽默 ,文化，藝術，等 Judaism， Jewish humor，art，culture，etc
晚會， 在家招待客人 soirees，entertaining guests at home
烹調西餐 cooking Western food
西方哲學 Western philosophy
新聞,时事 news & current events
學中文 , 中國社會學 studying Chinese，Chinese sociology
烤麵包 baking bread
舉重 weightlifting
煉愈加 practicing yoga
玩 飛槃 playing frisbee
走大自然 nature walks
聼音樂 listening to music
看現場表演， 戲劇 watching plays and live performances
咖啡館， 茶藝舘 cafes and teahouses
玩兒狗 playing with dogs
在大都市逛街 walking in the city
走在森林裏 walking in the forest
旅遊 traveling
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東方情人問題...
Regarding extra-marital affairs，I've heard from my Chinese friends its a big problem in Chinese society, more common than with Westerners. But the Western stereotype is that Asians are very loyal in marriage, so what is going on?
From what I can see, in Asian culture it's not manly for men to express their emotions, or they simply don't know
how to communicate what they feel. So there is some communication gap between husband and wife. So much is implied (含蓄) in Asian culture, and this can lead to misunderstandings and unfulfilled emotions between a couple. For example, it would not be manly for an Asian man to cry. Among Westerners, only around the 1960's did it start to become socially acceptable for a man to cry in front of a woman, and recently it has in fact become a very manly and sexy thing.
At the same time, women seek a man who can give more intimacy and
romance. A woman needs a man who really understands how she feels inside. This is true of course for all women.
On the men's side, men certainly need intimacy too. But man been programmed with an even stronger need than that- to look for younger, prettier women. This is generally true for all men.
So if it's true that Asian men cheat on their wives more than Western men, I'm not sure why. Is there a greater respect for the law against infidelity among Westerners? Or a greater influence of religious prohibition against infidelity (cheating) among Westerners?
The need to be close with other people exists for all people in all cultures. However, I think from an early age, self-expression is not encouraged in Asian culture. So, as they grow older, many Asians seem to have an awkward feeling expressing their emotions, making intimacy and interpersonal communication difficult.
Asian married couples seem less likely to kiss and hug each other than Westerners. One rarely sees any intimacy between an Asian husband and wife. Most of my Asian friends have never seen their parents physically embrace each other. Could it be that the Asian couple feels less emotionally connected to each other, and each is just following the required role of being a spouse?
This could be part of the recipe for extra-marital
affairs among Asian couples. But I don't have all of the pieces of the puzzle figured out yet, so I would really like to hear what you think...
如果有一个朋友可以帮忙翻成中文，我会很高兴！ 请在回复里面直贴 或 用e-mail 跟我联系
都歡迎評論．．．
安迪
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我十八嵗父親要我學中文為了未來幫我們家人在中國的生意。。從頭在美國學了兩年，在去台灣上大學裏的國語培訓所. 自己學也了很認真,不過我認爲 是培養愛好而不學得辛苦. 那時交了些好中國朋友, 參加了很多中國文化活動,受到了中國人的人情. 因爲語言也包括風俗習慣在裏面非學中國文和中國人的禮不可. 慢慢得開始 愛上了這個民族,覺得跟我的很接近... 後來在 上海 待了兩年.
因爲 我在我的母国国外带过，我了解 外國人 怎麽 感覺 . 同時,海外華人也可以理解 像我們在美國一個小数民族有 什么感覺.
我發現猶太 文化跟中國文化很多相同的地方. 我們兩個民族 是 東方和西方最古老,在現代世界繁榮,但是還保留我們的好家庭概念化．雖然聰明和親切都也受過不少痛苦.
回頭看我還有很多關於中國人和住在中國社會的思想,以后后给你多寫...
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對不起還沒機會返城中文。。這是一個敏感的話題，還得用我的母語爲了避免誤會
Sometimes I feel bad for the Asian men in Western countries. Look around the streets of New York, California, Toronto, Sydney, or London and it's not a secret that people who look like me steal a lot of the single Asian women living in Western countries. So the Asian men who wish to marry their countryfolk can end up with less choices.
It's not common for Western women and Asian men to be mutually interested in each other, so that is not always an alternative for the Asian man.
One reason that this combination is not popular could be because, generally speaking, the non-confrontational, agreeable spirit considered virtuous in Asian society, and the physical features characteristic of Asians, such as a smaller, softer frame, are better suited to the female gender than to the male gender. For these reasons, in general, it seems to me that Asian women are more feminine than Western women, who sometimes act manly. For example, Western women are more likely to wear pants or drive a truck than their Asian counterparts.
Just as Western, especially American, women are less feminine, it could also be looked at from the perspective that Western men are more manly. For example, if you think of the cowboy stereotype of a Western man, or Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Elvis Presley, Western men generally seem more masculine in general than Asian men in the sense that Asians culturally are more reserved and subdued in manner, and have better self-restraint regarding their sexuality. In all cultures across humanity, aggressiveness and assertiveness tend to be considered more masculine traits. Of course, both Western men and Asian men can be very couth ,or very gentlemanly.
There is another problem that Asian men seem to run into in Western society, which is that in order to succeed in a more individualistic society with a weaker family structure, immigrants often end up becoming more outspoken, more self-reliant, and more independent in lifestyle. These qualities can be contrary to the expectations that some, but not all, Asian men have for a traditional wife to be softer spoken and co-dependent. Naturally, these qualities are based on a society that has traditionally ascribed more importance to having a harmonious family than to developing one's individuality. Some of my male Chinese friends have told me about this dilemma.
So, many Asian men in the West may end up going to Asia to marry. On the other side of the ocean, an Asian man can find a greater selection of mates who understand and appreciate his culture. But the distance of an international marriage has risks with it.. the couple often doesn't know each other as well beforehand, and the two families often don't know each other either. The world has become increasingly mobile, too. With people around the world meeting each other online for the first time, the ties between the couple may not be as strong as if they had grown up in the same city, as was more common in the past. Because of the different economies, there may be a significant difference between the two spouses financial situations, and this imbalance can be fractious.
There is also the potential that the spouse's intentions for immigration are stronger than the intention to be married. Even where that is not the case, the couple still can face some social stigma that the spouse may have had ulterior motives, since in many cases were not for the marriage, the immigration might not have happened.
Nobody knows how a spouse will adapt to living in another country, but it inevitably is a major lifestyle adjustment. People are exposed to different influences in another society. It's reasonable to expect they will develop different ideas in a new environment. and the need to adapt to a new lifestyle. So it's inevitable that people will change a lot from the way they would be if they did not emigrate. These ideas could result in a completely transformed personality, or adopting different sets of values. The social changes that affect one spouse may not affect the other one, and the two may develop diverging ideas. All of these changes can present challenges to a couple, who may be already facing many other changes, such as economic, linguistic and the need for having different skills in a new place.
What is interesting to me is how Asian-Asian couples adapt their married lifestyles after immigrating to the Western world. What happens if there is a disagreement on how to adapt in the new society?
Living in the West, does the Asian man still have to earn a higher salary than the Asian woman? Does the wife expect him to be more romantic, like she sees on TV? Does the wife still bear the responsibility for child care and running the house? What if their children learn from their Western friends to not show filial piety (ie 不尊重父母)? Are the children still expected to live close by? What if the daughter brings home her black boyfriend? What if the son turns out to be gay? Do the Asian parents lose their dignity if placed into an old folks home rather than as an extended live-in family? What replaces the support of the traditional family clan in the age of geographically isolated relatives? How much of these values should be kept, and how much should be left behind?
Websites like this one on the Internet are bringing disparate people close together like never before. So in the future we can expect to see much more of these complexities. Asian immigration to the West was relatively small in number until only the past generation, so in the world of the future we'll likely to see these issues play out on a much larger scale than ever.
如果有一个朋友可以帮忙翻成中文，我会很感謝！ 请在“回复“ 里面直贴上 或用e-mail 跟我联系
歡迎評論．
安迪
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我是新的會員,還在寫我中文文張， 親愛的中國朋友，如果覺得“我日記“ 有意思，請在一個文張留言，然後過機天再來看最新的更改 ！ |
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第1-7，共7篇日记[首页][上页][下页][末页] |
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